If I Had a Million Dollars

Who hasn't fantasized about what they would do with $100,000,000? I know I have many times. But over the years my ideas of what I would do with that money have drastically changed. I used to imagine a beachfront mansion, designer clothes, and lambos before I knew or understood how much a million is really worth. Now I imagine a five bedroom, four bath, Colonial home with a wrap around porch surrounded by a couple of acres backed up to the woods. I envision a Saturday sitting on the porch swing with Jack under my feet, Jareth playing in the dirt with one of his cousins or godbrother, and Jon snoring in a rocking chair. Security, safety, and stress free. Not too far from the city but a retreat for Jon and a sanctuary for me. Wide open space for July 4th bbqs and just enough room for overnight guests. Simple and beautiful. So if anyone would like to hand over the cash I have it all planned out ; )

Big Fat Negative

I was almost three weeks late so I went to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test. I had been putting it off because I figured my hormones were still out of whack from being pregnant with Jareth. But after a while Jon and I figured we better check to make sure. I had to get the girl at the register to get the test for me from behind the counter. When she handed to me she said good luck. I just smiled. Then she said she didn't have any kids and didn't want any, any time soon. I told her I had a five month old. She said something to the effect of "Oh man, are you going to cry if it's positive?" I thought about it for a second and said that I wouldn't.
On the way home I thought about her question. Jon and I of course weren't trying for another baby and if given the choice we would wait a few years but I don't think I would be sad if the test were positive. I remembered what it felt like when I saw my first positive pregnancy test. I was ecstatic. Then we lost that baby and I was beside myself with saddness. The second time I had a positive test was with Jareth and I was riddled with anxiety, afraid we would lose him. So, no I wouldn't cry if I had a positive result. I would be happy, nervous, but happy.
When I got home I found Jon snuggled up in the bed with Jareth taking a nap thus confirming my decision. I woke up Jon and let him know that I was about to take the test. He made me promise not to look at the result without him. Three minutes later it was negative.
That same day I made an appointment with my drs office to get back on birth control. Although a new baby would have been welcomed, I wasn't exactly ready to be pregnant again. As far as birth control goes, we have decided to do the Mirena IUD. It lasts for five years. That gives us plenty of time to prepare for another baby and give Jareth all the attention we want. And if we decide to have a baby sooner it can easily be removed. So, we remain a family of three for now....and for several years to come. Besides I don't think Jack could handle another baby right now. : )

Update on Everything!

I certainly don't have as much time as I would like to sit down and blog anymore! Jareth keeps me very busy these days. The sleepy baby days are over and this little guy needs to be entertained! Jareth is now four months old. He is rolling over, noticing absolutely everything, playing harder each day, and growing a temper. One thing is for certain, when he wants something he has to have it then and there! No patience here! Also, his quiet ooohs and aaaahs have turned into high pitched squeals and deep gurgles. He has quite the set of lungs. He is also developing more mature facial expressions, furrowing and raising his brow and smiling shyly. I may sound like a broken record but I will say it one more time and probably not the last time, he is amazing!

Update on me: I am proud to say that I comfortably fit in a size 6! And the other day I somehow forced myself into a 4! I've been pretty faithful about doing pilates everyday and I am really watching what I eat. I'm learning to look at food differently. Instead of seeing a yummy piece of chocoloate cake I see my daily allowance of sugar and fat. Not to say I don't indulge sometimes. But I really weigh the costs now when I choose my foods.

Also, as of today I am a consultant for the company Thirty-One! I'm very excited about it. I will be selling unique and stylish bags, totes, stationary, organizers, and etc through home shows, online sales, and catalog sales. If anyone out there is reading this, book a party!!!

My Jeans Search

I finally went shopping for a pair of jeans a few weeks ago. I had said I wouldn't buy any "fat jeans" because I didn't want to spend money on something I didn't plan to wear very long. However, my husband was really tired of my sagging maternity jeans and pajama pants. So, off I went to the mall. First stop Express. I have always loved Express jeans. They had always given me the best fit and made my previously non-existent booty suddenly appear and at a great cost. So it was much to my dismay when I tried on a cute pair of boot cuts that made me look two sizes bigger than I actually am and gave me a horendous "muffin top." Ultra low rise jeans are not for those larger than a size four. So I went back to the shelves to find a pair of low rise or mid rise jeans perhaps with a little more stretch. Now I've always had a hard time finding good fitting pants/jeans and I am very particular about what I buy. I'm 5'4 and have short legs but a not so short torso. I can't always wear petite sizes but regular pants are always too long. I don't like jeans with big holes and tears in them. I leave those for the teenagers. And I'm pretty particular about the wash of my jeans. Not too blue and not too light. Express boot cut jeans size 4 short were always a perfect fit, they had a great wash, and I could get away with ultra low rise. But I am no longer a size 4. I was sad to find that they didn't have any low rise or mid rise boot cut jeans larger than a 4 in a short length in stock. I left slightly stung and missing my old body. Defeated I pushed Jareth through the mall trying to decide where I could get a pair of good fitting jeans for less than $60. I wasn't about to invest more than that on a pair of jeans that wouldn't fit (I hoped) for more than a month. Then I ran into a woman that I went to highschool with. She works at Dillard's so I asked her if she recommended any of the jeans they sell. She said no but she said that she always wears American Eagle jeans. I kind of furrowed my brow at the thought of American Eagle. I hadn't shopped there since highschool and just new it would be filled with teeny boppers complaining that the size 0 jeans they were trying on were too loose. But I decided to go anyway. I went straight to the first jeans section I found: Ultra low rise skinny jeans. Nope. Second section: Baggy Boyfriend jeans. Nope. Then I round the corner and there they are; boot cut mid rise jeans in a nice medium wash. I'm not sure what size to get so I pick up a 6, 8, and 10 in short length. Hopeful I headed to the dressing room. Thank goodness I tried on the 10 first and not the 6! I ended up in the middle with the 8 short. And guess what! They were only $40! It made me feel good to have a pair of jeans that fit. It's funny how something as simple as a pair of jeans can either ruin your day or give you a good boost of confidence. Oh, and guess what else...... those size 8s are getting loose! Time for another shopping trip.

Mr. Manning

Jareth has a favorite toy. It is a bright blue elephant made by Bright Starts that makes a crinkle sound when you touch it and rattles when you shake it. It also has teethers for feet. His name is Manning and Jareth absolutely loves him. He has learned how to hold the elephant and chews on his trunk and ears and he smiles so big when I bring it to him. He has also started to "talk" to his new friend and he gets so excited that he shoves his face into it and squeals! It's adorable. Thanks to Erin and Mike who got it for him. I think every baby should have a Manning.

Three Months and Amazed

My little cricket has turned three months old today. I can't believe that at this very time three months ago I was waiting for the doctor to break my water and begin the labor process. I have found motherhood to be the most amazing experience I have ever had. Watching him grow is wonderful. He changes so much with each passing week and each tiny milestone absolutely facinates me. I never knew I would be so giddy about seeing my child discover his feet or hold his paci. I had no idea that my heart would explode with his gummy grins or that I would tear up just because he tangled his fingers in my hair while falling asleep on my shoulder. And its only been three months. He can't sit up on his own, crawl, talk, or much less walk and I'm already amazed by him. What's funny is that this is one of the most natural things there is. The birth and growth of a child is a natural process that occurs worldwide. It's hard to believe that Jareth isn't a phenomenon; I sure treat him like one!
Three months down and a thousand to go!

What I Couldn't Live Without

Someone asked me what items I have found to be essential for baby care. There are several things that have made my life easier when it comes to taking care of Jareth. Some I have used from the very first day and others I have picked up along the way.

1. The Boppy: It not only gives my arms a rest from holding Jareth while I nurse him but it came in handy when he had a viral infection and was spitting up mucus. He was able to sleep in bed with us, elevated on the boppy without fear of us rolling onto him. We also used it for tummy time so that he wouldn't face-plant the floor when he got tired of holding his head up.
2. The Nipple Shield: I desperately wanted to nurse Jareth but the first few days were a little rough. It took a little while for him to learn how to latch properly and before he did I became quite blistered.
3. Recieving Blankets: Jareth loves to be swaddled up and oftentimes he has trouble falling asleep with out it. I think there would have been many sleepless nights without them.
4. Basinette: There is no way I would have let Jareth sleep in his crib away from us for the first three months. My sister let us use her basinette. It comes right up to the bed and I can easily see the baby and reach into it to help him with his pacifier or blanket.
5. Pacifiers: I had said I wouldn't use them but the first day Jareth was home he was inconsolable and I gave in. Sometimes babies just need to suck even when they aren't hungry.
6. Light-up Toys: Great for distraction, toys that play music and light up have become very useful.
7. Chocolate: Okay, this one is for mommy. When Jareth just can't seem to be satisfied mommy eats a piece of chocolate. It makes me feel better at least. ; )

Moving Right Along, a short note

I'm happy to say that Jareth is meeting all of his developmental milestones. He is cooing and smiling and mouthing back to us when we talk to him. He turns his head to find sounds and really focuses intently on our faces. His play time consists of us singing songs to him along with lots of tummy time with toys thats play music and light up. He has figured out how to make one of his toys turn on by hitting it. Every week there is something new!

Where Has the Time Gone?

Jareth is now 8 weeks and 3 days old and time is flying by! I can't believe it has been two months since I was writing about labor cakes and whether or not I wanted to medically induce. Now I'm watching my little guy sit in his little booster seat and bat at the toys attached to it. There can't be anything better than motherhood.
The past few weeks have been great. We got to take Jareth to his godmother's baby shower. Danyell and Branden are expecting their own little boy in January. They already have a little girl, our god-daughter Mayci. Everyone there was excited to meet Jareth. Then it was Thanksgiving and Jareth celebrated his first in Cookeville with some of my family. He got to meet his great grandmother along with great uncles and aunts and cousins. And he rolled over thanksgiving night! On black Friday we went to Nashville for a little shopping and to see his other set of godparents, Erin and Mike. We have also squeezed in time to visit with Jareth's grandparents. We saw Jon's parents along with his brother and sister-in-law the weekend before Thanksgiving and my parents made a trip up here last Sunday.
Now it's already Christmastime. Just 8 more days to go and we will spend Jareth's first Christmas in Athens. (It would be easier if we just moved there! )With as fast as time seems to flying by, we will be chasing him around the house before I know it!

Patience and Persistence

I haven't written in a while due to both the holiday and the demands of mommyhood. But I wanted to take the time to write about my experience thus far with breastfeeding and colic and what each has taught me.
Breastfeeding definitely has its ups and downs and although its very natural, it has to be learned. While I was pregnant Jon and I attended a breastfeeding class at the hospital. We learned all about the benefits of breastfeeding your baby along with different latch techniques and much more. One of the fun facts that really stood out to me was that formula only has about 30 nutrients in it as opposed to breastmilk's over 200! I was really excited to breastfeed and as soon as Jareth was born I asked the nurse when I would be able to feed him. Within the hour I was nursing. The first time was great. Jareth seemed to know exactly what to do and did a full 15 minutes on each side. I thought it was going to be easy. Famous last words, right? Well, three hours later it was time to feed him again. This time Jareth completely forgot what he was doing and I ended up with a small blister. Three hours after that there were two blisters and after the next feeding I was raw and ready to give up. Then my lovely nurse introduced me to the "nipple shield" and God bless her! I love that thing! We figured out that there was a...well, anatomical issue. Lets just say there isn't a lot to latch onto and we had to figure out how to get the most out of what I have. So, I used some lanolin until I healed and used the shield to feed him. It was such a better experience. I still use it 7 weeks later, not everytime but a lot of the time. Some people think you shouldn't use it, but in my opinion its fine. He is still getting the benefits of a breast fed baby, skin to skin contact and of course breastmilk. It doesn't hurt anymore when I feed him without the shield but he seems to be able to get more milk when I use it. So, we still use it and I recommend it to any new breastfeeding mom!
The second thing I want to write about is the "C" word. Yep, COLIC. When a baby has colic he or she cries throughout the day without reason. Some colic babies only cry in the morning or afternoon and some cry on and off throughout the entire day but each crying for hours at a time. There isn't much you can do for a baby with colic. Swaddling, singing, rocking, and all the regular stuff can help sometimes but most of the time you just have to wait it out. Sometimes it's a lactose issue and breastfeeding moms are told not to eat/drink milk products and formula fed babies are switched to soy to see if that helps. Recently studies have shown that babies with colic who are given pro-biotics have less crying time. There is some controversy surrounding colic. Some people say its just a phase that has to be waited out while others press home remedies and medicine. I say there is a balance between the two. Jareth went to the doctor yesterday after a week of persistent crying. After a physical exam along with blood, urine, and stool tests the doctor said he was perfectly healthy but has all the symptoms of colic. To rule out a lactose problem I am staying away from milk products and also caffiene in case that is bothering him. Also we are puting him on biogaia which is a pro-biotic. (at $40 a bottle I sure hope it does something for him) For me on an emotional level its been a tough week. It's kind of bittersweet. After a week of worrying that he was sick or in pain I am glad to find out that he is healthy. But I am sad to find that there isn't much I can do for my baby during these long fits of crying. It breaks my heart not to be able to console him. I fearfully wonder what could be going on inside of him chemically to make him cry so much. I've barely put him down this week and nothing has gotten done around the house. But I realized that the chores can wait. As long as we have clean clothes and dishes everything else can wait. Both Thursday and Friday we just spent the day in bed and cuddled. What seems to help Jareth most is tight swaddling and warm baths. He also likes to lay chest to chest. Colic isn't supposed to last longer than three months of age. Hopefully it won't last that long but at least there is an end in sight.
Between breastfeeding him and his colicky behavior, Jareth has taught me a lot of patience and persistence.