If I Had a Million Dollars

Who hasn't fantasized about what they would do with $100,000,000? I know I have many times. But over the years my ideas of what I would do with that money have drastically changed. I used to imagine a beachfront mansion, designer clothes, and lambos before I knew or understood how much a million is really worth. Now I imagine a five bedroom, four bath, Colonial home with a wrap around porch surrounded by a couple of acres backed up to the woods. I envision a Saturday sitting on the porch swing with Jack under my feet, Jareth playing in the dirt with one of his cousins or godbrother, and Jon snoring in a rocking chair. Security, safety, and stress free. Not too far from the city but a retreat for Jon and a sanctuary for me. Wide open space for July 4th bbqs and just enough room for overnight guests. Simple and beautiful. So if anyone would like to hand over the cash I have it all planned out ; )

Big Fat Negative

I was almost three weeks late so I went to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test. I had been putting it off because I figured my hormones were still out of whack from being pregnant with Jareth. But after a while Jon and I figured we better check to make sure. I had to get the girl at the register to get the test for me from behind the counter. When she handed to me she said good luck. I just smiled. Then she said she didn't have any kids and didn't want any, any time soon. I told her I had a five month old. She said something to the effect of "Oh man, are you going to cry if it's positive?" I thought about it for a second and said that I wouldn't.
On the way home I thought about her question. Jon and I of course weren't trying for another baby and if given the choice we would wait a few years but I don't think I would be sad if the test were positive. I remembered what it felt like when I saw my first positive pregnancy test. I was ecstatic. Then we lost that baby and I was beside myself with saddness. The second time I had a positive test was with Jareth and I was riddled with anxiety, afraid we would lose him. So, no I wouldn't cry if I had a positive result. I would be happy, nervous, but happy.
When I got home I found Jon snuggled up in the bed with Jareth taking a nap thus confirming my decision. I woke up Jon and let him know that I was about to take the test. He made me promise not to look at the result without him. Three minutes later it was negative.
That same day I made an appointment with my drs office to get back on birth control. Although a new baby would have been welcomed, I wasn't exactly ready to be pregnant again. As far as birth control goes, we have decided to do the Mirena IUD. It lasts for five years. That gives us plenty of time to prepare for another baby and give Jareth all the attention we want. And if we decide to have a baby sooner it can easily be removed. So, we remain a family of three for now....and for several years to come. Besides I don't think Jack could handle another baby right now. : )